Jacob R. Myers

Mrs. Wyatt

English 102

23 June 2019

Fighting Fire and Pain

Dear 18-year-old Jacob, I know it’s hard to make sense right now. To see a way forward. To trust and to forgive. But I promise you, everything is going to turn out alright. You spent a month in the intensive care unit following that night when your house burned down, and your entire torso was blackened and scorched by those flames. I know you’re afraid to sleep for fear of waking up surrounded by the falling boards, choking on that thick, awful smoke. I know you’re holding intense amounts and anger, you feel betrayed by your mother, but those feelings too, shall fade in time.

The doctors doubted that you’d regain a full range of motion in your hands and arms, they thought you’d have to have your entire stomach and chest receive skin grafts, but you proved them wrong, you’re going to heal faster and better than they had ever seen a burn victim recover. You’re going to recover stronger than ever and believe it or not you aren’t going to lose that dream you’ve been chasing your entire life of joining the United States Army, serving just like your grandfather. You’re going to follow the advice of the doctors to the T, you’re going to constantly perform the exercises you’re supposed to, and you don’t lose even 1% of your range of motion.

I know right now you’re constantly afraid. You feel like you’re going to wake up in that inferno again. Flames licking at your arms, singeing your hair, filled with fear, confusion, and panic. But these feeling will pass too. You’ll find breathing techniques to assuage those feelings, you’ll find someone who helps you regain happiness, someone who doesn’t let you feel bad for yourself, someone who makes continuing to move forward not seem like that difficult of an endeavor. That relationship may not last, but it’s what you needed in that time of struggle. You’ll find a friend who also survived a fire, you’ll be able to commiserate, share stories, laugh about the little things that still freak you out today. Yes, you still don’t like sitting any major distance from an exit, but it’s not an overwhelming, brain consuming issue any more.

I know right now you feel betrayed that your mother blamed you for the fire to protect her husband. You’ll carry that feeling for a long, long time. But eventually after losing your dad, your grandparents, and your friends in the Army, you’ll realize that feeling of anger you’ve let dominate your every move, color your relationships, and generally make you an unlikeable person are frivolous. Life is too short to hold on to those negative feelings, you’ll see people who have let their lives pass them by holding grudges, never living. Believe it or not you’ll forgive your mom one day. You might not have let her in completely, not yet. But you’re making strides to let yourself be a little more vulnerable. Remember, family is everything, and family isn’t always blood, it’s the people you trust and love along the way.

I know this advice might be falling on deaf ears right now, I remember how blind you were at 18. You were angry. You were sad. And you damn sure were confused about yourself and about the world. But you’re going to be alright at the end of the day, I promise you that. It might take you a little more time than other people, you’re going to take the long, hard route instead of the short and easy, but those extra miles on your boots are going to make you into the man you are today.

See you soon,

Jacob

Reflection on Reflections (6/26/19)

Writing that reflection letter was an emotional endeavor. I learned about myself going over those experiences again in my head. I reflected on who I was then and who I am now. I realized I am better now than I thought.

ePortfolio’s (6/26/19)

The use of WordPress as an ePortfolio was a very interesting way of tying technology into a traditional writing class. Too many classes are “write this essay, turn it in, and never see it again” I think it was interesting people to see all of my “accomplishments” in class as I scrolled down the various tabs. I think it’s a great way to get a student to really “own” their writing. I think having the different pages for each section of the class was cool because you could have “practice” assignments before the capstone essay. I enjoyed it a lot.